Saturday, January 4, 2014

Same-gender attraction and same-gender marriage issues


Because of several things that have happened over the past couple of weeks, the issue of same-sex marriage has been discussed at great length in the media, on social media sites and in everyday conversations between family members, friends, co-workers, etc.  Because of the amount of discussion, I felt it would be helpful for myself (and hopefully for others) to write out an explanation of my beliefs on the matter.  There are three things that I want to make perfectly clear at the outset:  

  1. This is not intended to be an attack on those who experience same-gender attraction or those who share a different opinion than me on the matter.  Rather it is meant to be as complete an explanation as possible for what my beliefs are, where they are derived from and why I hold those beliefs.  It naturally includes a basic overview of some of the fundamental tenets of my faith.
  2. Part of living my religion requires me to love all people.  This includes an effort to try to understand people.  Part of understanding is trying to allow others to hold their own beliefs without me attacking them for it.  However, love for others does not supersede God’s laws.  In other words, I cannot allow my love for people to interfere with standing for and living God’s laws.
  3. “The experience of same-sex attraction is a complex reality for many people. The attraction itself is not a sin, but acting on it is. Even though individuals do not choose to have such attractions, they do choose how to respond to them.” (www.mormonsandgays.org , accessed 12/28/2013)
  4. I feel that homosexuality is not describing a condition, disease, or illness, but rather feelings or behaviors.  It is important that we do not define ourselves or our existence only by our sexuality.  We are complex beings that are made up of many different hopes, dreams, desires and abilities.  We sell ourselves short if we define ourselves only by our sexual orientation.  We don’t need to make that aspect of our lives the all-consuming aspect.  My thoughts will come from an ultimate desire that we all understand and define ourselves by the most simple and powerful aspect of our lives:  that we are all literal sons and daughters of a loving Heavenly Father.
  5. Please understand that I am not claiming to be performing a comprehensive work on issues of same-gender attraction and marriage.  As long as this discourse is ;-) I couldn’t possibly do a comprehensive discussion of it with my limited knowledge and abilities.  Hopefully something in here will be of some meaning to some people.
  6. What is written here is my opinion and is not the official statement or view of the LDS Church.

I would ask that if you feel that you want to respond to this that you do so in a respectful manner.  I believe strongly that we may disagree with one another while still remaining civil.  As we respond to one another in respectful ways there can be more understanding; and although we may not convince one another of our beliefs, we can still treat each other with kindness and respect.  Forgive the length of my “treatise”, but despite the length, I hope that you will take an opportunity for an honest read.  

Please note that I will reference four different books that are recognized as he canonized scripture in my faith.  They include the Holy Bible (the King James Version), the Book of Mormon, the Doctrine and Covenants and the Pearl of Great Price.  Access to each of these as well as any footnotes can be found at www.lds.org under “scriptures.”

My feelings towards the legalization of same-sex marriage are rooted in my religious faith.  I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  The most basic tenet of my faith is that we are ALL children of a loving Heavenly Father.   This knowledge has brought me great strength and has helped me to understand that NOTHING can separate us from God’s love (Romans 8:35-39).  I believe this to be as important a piece of knowledge as we can obtain in this life and essential for those who are experiencing same-gender attraction to understand.

Our Heavenly Father has a plan for us to come here to Earth and exercise our freedom of choice.  We are free to choose His way and His teachings or to choose the opposite.  This plan was first revealed to us in an existence prior to this one.  

Our souls are comprised of both a body and a spirit.  The spirit is what gives us life.  These spirits were begotten by Heavenly Parents in a pre-mortal life.  In this pre-mortal life we were instructed of God’s plan and we had the opportunity to accept or reject that plan.  Those of us who accepted the plan were sent to Earth to undergo trials and tests to see if we would do everything that God asks of us (Proverbs 8:22-31, Job 38:7, Jeremiah 1:5, Abraham 3:22-25, Alma 12:24, Alma 34:32-34).  There were a third of God’s children who rejected God’s plan and were cast out of heaven along with Lucifer (Satan).  The account of this “war in heaven” can be found in Isaiah 14:12-15 and Revelation 12:1-11.    This account is demonstrative of the truth that God’s love does not supersede His commandments or His plan, an important truth to recognize when discussing the complex issues of same-gender attraction.

God’s desire is that we all follow His plan and receive everything He has.  Families are an essential part of that plan and essential to receiving all He has.  In addition to providing families, God established eternal laws that help us to come closer to Him and to become more like Him.  With each law there is an associated punishment or consequence if it is broken (2 Nephi 2:8-13). Understanding that we would each break His divine laws, our Father provided a Savior for us who would suffer the punishment for our sins and thus give us the opportunity to avoid that punishment (DC 19:16-19).  The Savior chosen at that time is known to the world today as Jesus Christ.  Jesus atoned for our sins and misdeeds and this Atonement allows us to be forgiven and cleansed so that we can be made clean and pure as we turn to Him.  

As we turn our lives over to Jesus Christ, He makes us better than we could be otherwise.  His grace and mercy lift us and purify us and fit us to return to live with our Heavenly Father in a state of never ending joy (Isaiah 53, 2 Nephi 2:25, Mosiah 2:41, Mosiah 3:3-8).  Our Heavenly Father offers to us all that he has (Romans 8:16-17, Revelations 3:21, 2 Corinthians 3:18, Galatians 4:7).  The ONLY way that we can receive all of these blessings is through Jesus Christ and His grace as he saves and changes us through that grace.  I have felt His grace and His power in my life and know of its reality.

In order to teach us about His plan, God established a church on the Earth led by prophets.  Beginning with Adam, God has called prophets to reveal and to teach His word and His truth to His children here on the Earth.  God explained what these prophets were intended for when He told Moses, “thou shalt speak unto him (meaning Aaron, Moses’ brother), and put words in his mouth: and I (God) will be with thy (Moses) mouth, and with his mouth, and will teach you what ye shall do.  And he shall be thy spokesman unto the people: and he shall be, even he (Aaron) shall be to thee instead of a mouth, and thou (Moses) shalt be to him instead of God (Exodus 4:15-16).” (Names/terms in parentheses added)

In other words, a prophet is meant to be God’s mouthpiece to all of God’s children on the Earth.  Amos explained further that, “surely the Lord God will do nothing but He revealeth His secrets unto His servants the prophets (Amos 3:7).”  

God reveals the truth to these prophets and then the prophets teach that truth to us.  We are free to accept or reject their words.  When a greater portion of the people rejects the prophet’s words, a period of darkness and un-enlightenment ensues, referred to as an Apostasy.  This comes as a natural consequence to human decisions.  Whenever this happens, God will, in His time, send another prophet to restore the light and truth of His word to His children to ensure them an opportunity to receive all He has to offer to them.  For instance, when Adam’s posterity generally rejected God’s truths, God sent Enoch to restore the light of God’s word.  When another apostasy occurred after Enoch, God sent Noah to restore.  Prophets such as Abraham and Moses were also “restorers”.  This process or pattern is taught by the Savior in the parable of the husbandmen in Matthew 21:33-43.  

After Israel fell away from God’s truths, God sent His Only Begotten Son Jesus Christ, not only to restore the truth, but also to perform the ultimate sacrifice for all of God’s children as He suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane and again on Calvary for all of our grief’s, our sorrows, our sins, so that He (Jesus Christ) could know how to help each one of us in our difficulties and so that we would not have to suffer the punishment for our own sins (Isaiah 53, Alma 7:11-13, Alma 34:8-10, D&C 19:16-19).  Not only did Jesus’ Atonement give us the ability to overcome sin and death, but because He personally experienced each individual’s personal sorrows, grief’s, sicknesses and disappointments, He knows perfectly well how to help each individual on this Earth.  This is also an essential truth to understand in regards to the many complex issues faced by those with same-gender attraction.

When Jesus was on the Earth, He established a church.  He built it on the foundation of apostles and prophets (Ephesians 2:19-20).  These apostles and prophets were meant to help perfect the saints, to keep people in the right way and to keep them united in faith and doctrine (Ephesians 4:11-14).  We can see these efforts in action with Paul’s epistles as well as the epistles of Peter and James.  

Eventually the persecution of the Christian faith became so severe that all of the church leaders were killed and the church began to lose the ability to stay united in faith and doctrine.  Paul warned of this in Acts 20:28-30.  He also warns of it again in 2 Thessalonians 2:1-3 where he explains that before the second coming of Christ there will be a “falling away” from the truth and the church.  This prophecy of a falling away was fulfilled throughout the dark ages as men and women experienced a famine of hearing the word of the Lord.  Many searched for the truth but couldn’t find it (Amos 8:11-12).  The darkness of the “dark ages” epitomizes what happens to our lives when we reject the Savior, the Light of the World.  No matter what our reasons for rejecting Him, we cannot have all of the light and joy that we could have if we do not turn to Him and follow Him.

Despite the darkness and despair of this time period, prophets had promised a restoration of all things in the fullness of times (Acts 3:21, Ephesians 1:10, Matthew 21:33-43).  The fulfillment of this promise began as reformers started to recognize the need for change in Christianity and made their best efforts to try and recreate the truths they saw in the Bible in various Christian faiths.  The fulfillment of the promise culminated in the spring of 1820 when Joseph Smith saw a vision of God the Father and His Son Jesus Christ in upstate New York in response to a prayer he offered.  The process that Joseph Smith went through to find the knowledge for himself is the process that we must all ultimately experience if we want to know the truth for ourselves; particularly the truths regarding marriage and family that are involved with this issue of same-sex marriage or same-gender attraction.

Joseph had been experiencing confusion over religion due to the many different churches that were all claiming to teach God’s word but were offering very different views on the Bible.  He felt a desire to join with a church but was confused as to which to join because of the varying opinions on Biblical teachings.  His inquiries led him to a study of the Bible, where he read James 1:5, wherein James invites all to ask God when you lack wisdom.  Joseph explained in His own words what happened when he read this verse:

“Never did any passage of scripture come with more power to the heart of man than this did at this time to mine. It seemed to enter with great force into every feeling of my heart. I reflected on it again and again, knowing that if any person needed wisdom from God, I did; for how to act I did not know, and unless I could get more wisdom than I then had, I would never know; for the teachers of religion of the different sects understood the same passages of scripture so differently as to destroy all confidence in settling the question by an appeal to the Bible (Joseph Smith History 1:12).”

This process of feeling God’s power to testify of truth is the way that we can know when something is true and/or real.  It is called the power of the Holy Ghost and is described elsewhere in scriptures as a feeling of love, joy or peace (Galatians 5:22-23), or as a burning in our hearts (Luke 24:32).  Because of this inspiration, Joseph determined to do as James instructs and to ask God.  He went into a grove of trees near his home in upstate New York and prayed vocally to God.  He describes the vision he had in these words:

“I saw a pillar of light exactly over my head, above the brightness of the sun, which descended gradually until it fell upon me…When the light rested upon me I saw two Personages, whose brightness and glory defy all description, standing above me in the air.  One of them spake unto me, calling me by name and said, pointing to the other – This is My Beloved Son.  Hear Him!”

God the Father and His Son Jesus Christ appeared to Joseph that day and in answer to his question of which church to join informed him to “join none of them, for they were all wrong.”  They instructed him through the process of restoring the same Church that Christ had established in His earthly ministry as they sent angels, authority, revelations and another book of scripture to assist him in reestablishing God’s church on the earth.  (Joseph Smith History)

The other book of scripture is called the Book of Mormon and is a record of God’s dealings with some of the peoples of the ancient America’s.  It is a witness and testimony that God speaks to all nations and that Jesus Christ was revealed to additional groups of people besides those in the area of Jerusalem.  The church that was established as a result of this heavenly vision is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  Joseph Smith was called as a prophet to lead God’s church and to restore His truth, similar to prophets in the past such as Moses and Abraham.  Today the church is led by a prophet (Thomas S. Monson) and twelve apostles, patterned exactly after the New Testament church.

Similar to how Joseph felt God’s power testifying of the truthfulness of James’ words in the New Testament, I have also felt God’s power witnessing to me of the truthfulness and reality of God, of Jesus Christ, of the Book of Mormon and the Bible, and of all of the truths that have been restored through The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

Having explained where my opinions are derived from now let me state clearly what my views are in regards to same-sex “marriage”.  In doing so, my invitation to everyone who reads this is to study out the issues and go to The Lord in prayer and ask Him of the truthfulness of any and all things.  I am confident that through the power of the Holy Ghost, He will reveal to you the truth of all things (Moroni 10:3-5, Luke 24:32, Galatians 5:22-23).  

In the beginning of the Bible (the book of Genesis), the first marriage was performed.  God himself performed the marriage between Adam and Eve and instructed them to “multiply and replenish the Earth (Genesis 1:28).”  In essence, God our Father was inviting Adam and Eve to start a family and to have children.  This is the definition of marriage – between a man and a woman.  The definition was given by God, not developed or “allowed” by any political entities.  Marriage between man and woman was the commonly accepted practice in the beginning as shown in Genesis 4:16-26 and Genesis 5.  This definition has been so generally accepted that Webster’s dictionary gave the definition of marriage as follows:

“The act of uniting a man and woman for life; wedlock; the legal union of a man and woman for life.  Marriage is a contract both civil and religious, by which the parties engage to live together in mutual affection and fidelity…marriage was instituted by God himself for the purpose of preventing the promiscuous intercourse of the sexes, for promoting domestic felicity, and for securing the maintenance and education of children.” (www.webstersdictionary1828.com, accessed December 24, 2013)

Understanding that not all people accept the Biblical account, allow me to offer an alternative perspective to establish the same point.  At whatever point that humanity came to be (whether through creation or evolution), a sexual relationship had to exist between a man and a woman had to exist in order to propagate the species.  The creation of children is not possible between partners of the same gender and it is readily apparent from the historical evidence that we have that opportunities such as in-vitro and/or artificial insemination did not exist at this point, and even should those have existed, the fact remains that the male and female contributions to the creation of a human life must exist and there is no other possible way for humanity to reproduce and continue.  The hope is that the mere sexual act did not define either the male or the female, but that the physical merger also led to a merger of hearts, dreams, hopes and lives.  That is what marriage is intended to be.  That what we symbolically give physically moves into all parts of our lives and that our spouses in a very real sense become a part of us.  The purpose of the marriage was meant to be completely unselfish on all counts.  

God wanted His children to come to Earth and receive a physical body.  Our Heavenly Parents had already begotten our spirits, but God wanted a safe and secure environment for us to receive physical bodies and to be taught and loved.  To allow this to happen, God gave His children the ability to procreate.  He gave His children a power much like His and then gave them guidelines on how that power was to be used and how it was not to be used.  T

It is here that I want to make something clear.  God gave His children the sacred power of procreation and also gave specific guidelines on how it was to be used.  Any sex outside of the bounds that God has set is considered sinful behavior and will certainly produce consequences – both in this life and in the life to come.  “Thou shalt not commit adultery” is an example (Exodus 20:14).  In the first marriage relationship, Adam and Eve were told to cleave to each other and none else (Genesis 2:24).  To use a more modern explanation, the First Presidency of the LDS Church released a letter in November of 1991 stating specifically the views on sexual sin when they said, “The Lord’s law of moral conduct is abstinence outside of lawful marriage and fidelity within marriage.  Sexual relations are proper only between husband and wife appropriately expressed within the bonds of marriage.  Any other sexual contact, including fornication, adultery, and homosexual and lesbian behavior, is sinful.”

I bring this up simply to point out that in the matters of sexual sins, I do not discriminate.  Sexual sin is wrong, whether it is homosexual or heterosexual – any sexual intercourse outside of the bonds of marriage is wrong.  One of the primary reasons why it is so important to God that we use this power correctly is because it is the power to create life.  It is not simply a physical appetite to feed, but inherently provides an opportunity for a new life that is quite literally a part of you.  

Sex outside of marriage is gambling with human life…in the sense that you can give a new life!  If God wants all of His children back with Him, He is certainly very concerned with making sure that each person that comes into the world is raised in the optimal situation.  A stable heterosexual marriage relationship has proven to be just that.  While I understand that there are most certainly difficulties and problems in many heterosexual marriages, these problems should not prevent us from pursuing the ideal.  There are inherent differences between man and woman that contribute to the heterosexual marriage relationship being the optimal to raise and nurture children.

Marriage and children were unselfish for parents because, as the dictionary definition explains, a husband and wife are meant to provide a place for the maintenance and education of children.  Heterosexual marriage was intended to be unselfish because it is meant to be an institution where a husband and wife give themselves completely – not only to each other, but also to the raising and nurturing of their children.  We focus on the well-being of the children we mutually create and that are a part of us, not just on ourselves.  A homosexual “marriage” relationship lacks the ability to focus on the unselfish aspect of raising a family, because it is not possible to conceive children in this relationship.  Ultimately a homosexual relationship is focused on the sexual aspect.  It is focused primarily on sexual attraction and other aspects of the relationship are subservient to that desire for physical gratification.  A quote to elaborate on what I am attempting to explain is appropriate:

“Marriage is not primarily a contract between individuals to ratify their affections and provide for mutual obligations. Rather, marriage and family are vital instruments for rearing children and teaching them to become responsible adults. While governments did not invent marriage, throughout the ages governments of all types have recognized and affirmed marriage as an essential institution in preserving social stability and perpetuating life itself. Hence, regardless of whether marriages were performed as a religious rite or a civil ceremony, married couples in almost every culture have been granted special benefits aimed primarily at sustaining their relationship and promoting the environment in which children are reared. A husband and a wife do not receive these benefits to elevate them above any other two people who may share a residence or social tie, but rather in order to preserve, protect, and defend the all-important institutions of marriage and family.

It is true that some couples who marry will not have children, either by choice or because of infertility, but the special status of marriage is nonetheless closely linked to the inherent powers and responsibilities of procreation, and to the inherent differences between the genders. Co-habitation under any guise or title is not a sufficient reason for defining new forms of marriage.” (http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/the-divine-institution-of-marriage, accessed December 24, 2013).

Please understand that I am not inferring that all those who choose to be in a same-gender relationship are completely selfish and terrible people.  I have good friends who have been in same-gender relationships and know that they are ultimately good and kind people.  My point is simply that inherent in their choice of a same-gender relationship is a focus primarily on sexual gratification.  Other considerations are not given the same consideration that this selfish physical desire is given.

You may ask why I care about the legalization of same-sex marriage because you may say that it won’t really affect me.  Let me explain why that is a grave misunderstanding!  If you take a term and an institution such as marriage and completely redefine it legally, there are several different repercussions that will affect me directly.

First, the redefinition of marriage will of necessity require a change in school curricula.  Wherever the term “marriage” is used in history books, in English classes, in biology texts, etc., there will now have to be changes to allow for this new definition of “marriage.”  Public education systems that are supported by my tax dollars will now be teaching as accepted fact behavior that I consider to be immoral and unacceptable.  Thus while preaching about freedom of choice in the matter of same-sex “marriage”, the efforts to legalize it also institutionalize it and force it upon young minds as an accepted way of life, and eliminate a parent’s choice on what sexual matters are taught as right and wrong to their children at school.  You may wish for water to be wine all you like, but legally changing the definition does not change what it really is, and redefining it legally simply confuses the up and coming generation to where they won’t understand the core differences that could prove fatal to their lives and happiness.  

Water (like a stable family situation) is necessary for life, while wine (like the legalization of same-sex marriage) can produce dangerous results when placed in settings without restraints.  I might make a personal addition here that I don’t feel that sexual issues or marriage issues ought to be discussed in great length in a school setting anyway (whether hetero or homosexual in nature).  These issues ought to be discussed in the confines of a home in an open and loving manner to ensure understanding by each child.  The public schooling system has no place to teach these issues.

There are already examples of this in other states that have legalized same-gender marriage.  States like California and Massachusetts have already implemented curricula in regards to “normalizing” these relationships and teaching about them to students.  Included in these discussions are often graphic descriptions of both hetero and homosexual intercourse.  How can we say that schools that my tax dollars support (of no choice of my own might I add - even if I homeschool or send my kids to a private school my tax dollars still support the public education system) teaching things that are so contrary to my religious beliefs is not a violation of my first amendment religious rights?

In addition to that, the issue will likely continue to move towards requiring religious institutions to allow same-sex marriages in their mosques, temples, synagogues and churches.  In a country where free exercise of religion is supposedly a top priority, legalizing same-sex marriage would ultimately be incredibly detrimental to religious freedoms.  Redefining marriage from being between a man and a woman to being between two men or two women places religious institutions and the state on a path to serious conflict.  The historically accepted definition of marriage needs to be maintained in order to preserve the religious freedoms of others outside of the homosexual community.

There are already examples of this happening.  Faith based adoption agencies that refused service to same-sex couples based on religious beliefs have had to close down because of their refusal to offer adoptive services to same-sex couples even though the refusal was based on religious beliefs.  Private schools have been sued for not being accepting of homosexual relationships, even though their reasoning for not allowing those relationships in their school is due to their deeply held religious beliefs and principles.  Doctors have been sued for refusing in vitro fertilization to same-sex couples although their reasons for refusal were personal and religious in nature.  The same goes for family therapists and psychologists.  It seems that while we are demanding “tolerance” for “other” ways of life, we are completely intolerant of those whose views are based in their faith - whether it be Jewish, Christian, Muslim or other.  It is now not too far-fetched to wonder if religious organizations will be allowed to teach that homosexuality is a sin.  Some have already been threatened because they teach this.  Where is freedom of religion in all of this?

The next reason why I am diametrically opposed to same-sex marriage has much to do with the maintenance of society.  One of the things that must be considered is the impact that the legalization and normalization of same-sex marriages will have on the population.  It is not difficult to see that (among several other important reasons); homosexual relationships have contributed to the population problems in European nations.  Countries in the Eurozone that have legalized same-gender marriage for quite some time are seeing the impacts in problems with maintaining a balanced population.  In other words, many countries are not supporting their populations due to declines in the birth rates.  This causes problems in many ways, including economic strains because of the lack of workforce compared to the retired populations.  The increasing trend of so-called “social safety nets” (aka welfare states) in combination with the declining birth rates are causing sustainability problems.  Either the welfare states have to decline or the birth rates need to increase.  Same-gender marriage obviously contributes to this decline in birth rates.  I am not advocating welfare states or social safety nets, I am simply pointing out issues that arise in society as a natural result of increasing numbers of same-gender marriages.

Another problem with the maintenance of a civilized society is that taking away the historically accepted definition of marriage essentially opens the definition of marriage to endless possibilities.  From a simple legal standpoint we have to ask ourselves what we will do with proponents of pedophilia, bestiality and other “alternative lifestyles”.  I don’t intend to bring all of these relationships onto the same grounds, but when the definition opens, that is exactly what we end up doing! Where will we decide that the definition stops and how many legal cases will it take to normalize and legalize these other sexual deviancies?

One of the primary arguments for why we should allow the same-sex marriages is because people are “born that way.”  I could try to dive into that argument about the science behind this premise (and there are certainly scientists on both sides of the issue), but the issue of whether or not they are “born that way” really isn’t the point.  The point is this:  do we legalize things simply because people are “born that way”, or have certain tendencies?

If a baby is born with an addiction to illegal drugs (even if it is because of a mother’s drug abuse, and decisions), does that mean that we legalize heroin and crack cocaine?  If a man is born with violent tendencies, do we go ahead and make allowance for that in the law?  Do we allow the pedophile to act out his or her sexual inclinations towards children simply because they were “born that way”?  I could go on and on, but I hope that the point is made.  If you legalize an unnatural, deviant sexual behavior, you open the door to legalizing all sorts of other unnatural, deviant sexual behaviors that will infringe on personal rights and liberties in an even more direct manner.  (Please note that I am not condemning the tendencies, but rather the actual behaviors).  Will same-gender marriage supporters also support the rights of pedophiles to marry because they are “in love” or “born that way?”  Are they willing to give the same rights to those who desire multiple partners?  I highly doubt it!  Once you start down the slippery slope of legalizing immorality it is extremely difficult to regain any moral footing!  Where will we draw the line? Or will we even draw one?

My next point plays off of my last one.  Every person in the world today has “tendencies” or desires to participate in immoral or unethical behavior.  “We have all sinned and come short of the glory of God (Romans 3:21)”, Paul says, but we must all recognize that we cannot justify immoral behavior simply because we have a desire to do it.  A man may have a desire to be a millionaire (which is not inherently wrong), but if he reaches his goal of being a millionaire by lying, cheating or stealing (which all infringe on the rights of others), then do we make lying, cheating and stealing legal simply so that some individuals can reach their goal of being millionaires?  While the goal of having a strong, stable, secure marriage relationship is certainly worthwhile and desirable, we cannot legalize the process of getting there if it infringes on the rights of others.   In other words, we cannot legalize immoral relationships simply because someone wants to act on their tendencies.

Sexual appetites, just like any other desires for immoral or unethical behavior, must be controlled and limited in order to avoid mass problems.  We cannot condone a sex addicts acting out with many partners at the expense of others simply because that is where their desires take them.  At the same time that I do not want marriage to be redefined and taught in schools, I also disagree with HOW sex education is taught in many schools (heterosexual or not).  Instead of teaching abstinence and restraint, we teach promiscuity and purposelessness.  We have already been seeing the consequences of such a lack of restraint.  A Hedonistic approach to sex leads to skyrocketing numbers of divorces, sexually transmitted diseases and single parents (especially mothers), leaving many innocent children devastated in its perverse wake.  These problems will continue to get worse unless we can reestablish a basic moral foundation to guide society.  The foundation of where to start with that morality has everything to do with preserving the family and treating with reverence and respect that sacred act in which a human life is created.  The results of what will happen are well explained in the LDS Church’s statement, “The Family, A Proclamation to the World”:

“We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.

We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.”

I want to express my love and appreciation to all of my brothers and sisters here on Earth.  We are all God’s children and we are all in a struggle to find peace and joy in this life and in the life to come.  I love people regardless of their religious, sexual, or political preferences.  However, this love for people includes an aspect in which certain actions cannot be condoned.  I believe that tolerance is the order of the day for all of us.  To respect each other and the opinions of all is essential to maintaining a harmonized society.  However, this tolerance for the beliefs of all cannot extend to tolerance of the actions of all, as Elder Dallin H. Oaks explains:

“Our tolerance and respect for others and their beliefs does not cause us to abandon our commitment to the truths we understand and the covenants we have made…We are cast as combatants in the war between truth and error.  There is no middle ground.  We must stand up for truth, even while we practice tolerance and respect for beliefs and ideas different from our own and for the people who hold them.

While we must practice tolerance and respect for others and their beliefs, including their constitutional freedom to explain and advocate their positions, we are not required to respect and tolerate wrong behavior.  Our duty to God and to truth requires us to seek relief from some behavior that is wrong.  This is easy as to extreme behaviors that most believers and non-believers recognize as wrong or unacceptable.  For example, we must all deplore murder or other terrorist behavior, even when done by extremists in the name of religion.  And we must all oppose violence and thievery.

As to less extreme behaviors, where even believers disagree on whether or not they are wrong, the nature and extent of what we should tolerate is much more difficult to define.  Thus, a thoughtful LDS woman wrote me about her concern that “the world’s definition of ‘tolerance’ seems to be increasingly used in relation to tolerating wicked lifestyles.”  She asked how the Lord would define “tolerance.”

President Boyd K. Packer gave an inspired introduction to this subject.  Speaking to an audience of Institute students three years ago he said:

“The word tolerance does not stand alone.  It requires an object and a response to qualify it as a virtue. . . . Tolerance is often demanded but seldom returned.  Beware of the word tolerance.  It is a very unstable virtue.”

This inspired caution reminds us that for persons who believe in absolute truth, tolerance for behavior is like a two-sided coin.  Tolerance or respect is on one side of the coin, but truth is always on the other.  You cannot possess or use the coin of tolerance without being conscious of both sides.” (http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/-truth-and-tolerance-elder-dallin-h-oaks , accessed 12/28/2013)

That we will all be conscious of both sides is my hope and prayer!  

The Gospel of Jesus Christ is a gospel of change!  Not one of us on this earth is free of things that the gospel asks us to change.  Regardless of what those things are that we have to change, we all have the power to overcome or at least cope with our desires and tendencies.  We may not be able to overcome all of our thoughts and feelings completely in this life, but there is a distinction between those thoughts and feelings and our actual behaviors.  The hope is that we can learn to control our thoughts and actions in the way that God has asked us to.  As we accept Jesus’ invitation to come unto Him, we will find that our burdens will be lightened and that we will receive strength to do all that He asks of us (Matt. 11:28-30, Ether 12:27, 1 Nephi 3:7).  As we do this, we can find the “peace of God, which passeth all understanding” (Phillipians 4:7).

To end, I want to mention one last thing which ties in to why I gave an explanation of the roots of my religion at the beginning of this.  The bottom line for us is that prophets are God’s mouthpieces here on the Earth.  When they invite us to stand up for truth, right and morality, we would do well to heed their words and do all in our power to follow their instructions.  Although I recognize that my written views and opinions are not official church doctrine, the links below are links to official church positions and doctrines.  I hope that all of us can come to recognize the reality of God’s prophets living on the Earth today and follow their counsel.  This path will lead to peace, safety and joy for us, for our families and for the world!

While most of the words are my own, many of the ideas that I expressed in this post come from doctrines that I have studied in my faith.  Below are some of the links to where many of these thoughts come from.  Let me be clear though that I do not represent the church or its official views.  What was expressed in this post is completely my opinion.  Below are links to official church statements and doctrines:











 

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