I am sitting in my living room at 2:00 AM, marveling over Mothers on this Mother's Day. I have a bit of a cold and was awakened about an hour or so ago by a fit of coughing. I mention this merely to point out what happened next. My wife had purchased some cough drops the other day after seeing my need for them. That is the first lesson. The next lesson is that before I went to bed last night, she suggested that I might use some of the cough drops to avoid problems. The third lesson is that she informed me today that when I was sleeping with my four boys downstairs last night that I only woke up coughing one time. The final lesson is that as I came back into our bedroom after hacking up half a lung in the bathroom and simply said, "Amber", my wife knew what I needed without me even asking and kindly informed me of the location of the cough drops. Kindly even when she could have easily been upset with me for ignoring her earlier counsel. I hope to use these simple circumstances of the last couple of days to share my feelings on Mothers...particularly the Mother that is now in my home who I love and admire dearly. Given the hour that I am writing this, I hope that my thoughts make sense :-)
First things first...I wish to define the term of "Mother." Oftentimes I think we perhaps offer a definition that leaves out many mothers. First let me echo the words of President Gordon B. Hinckley, “Of all the creations of the Almighty, there is none more beautiful, none more inspiring than a lovely daughter of God who walks in virtue with an understanding of why she should do so, who honors and respects her body as a thing sacred and divine, who cultivates her mind and constantly enlarges the horizon of her understanding, who nurtures her spirit with everlasting truth” (“Understanding Our Divine Nature,” Liahona, Feb. 2002, 24; “Our Responsibility to Our Young Women,” Ensign, Sept. 1988, 11).
I truly believe that. I have seen that. There truly isn't anything more beautiful than a daughter if God who knows Him and knows who she is. Now on to the definition of "Mother." I could try and say it myself or I could simply quote the best definition I can recall seeing from Sister Sheri Dew in a general conference talk in October 2001, 'When we understand the magnitude of motherhood, it becomes clear why prophets have been so protective of woman’s most sacred role. While we tend to equate motherhood solely with maternity, in the Lord’s language, the word mother has layers of meaning. Of all the words they could have chosen to define her role and her essence, both God the Father and Adam called Eve “the mother of all living” -- and they did so before she ever bore a child. Like Eve, our motherhood began before we were born. Just as worthy men were foreordained to hold the priesthood in mortality, righteous women were endowed premortally with the privilege of motherhood. Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it is certainly that. It is the essence of who we are as women. It defines our very identity, our divine stature and nature, and the unique traits our Father gave us.
President Gordon B. Hinckley stated that 'God planted within women something divine.' That something is the gift and the gifts of motherhood. Elder Matthew Cowley taught that 'men have to have something given to them [in mortality] to make them saviors of men, but not mothers, not women. [They] are born with an inherent right, an inherent authority, to be the saviors of human souls … and the regenerating force in the lives of God’s children.'
Motherhood is not what was left over after our Father blessed His sons with priesthood ordination. It was the most ennobling endowment He could give His daughters, a sacred trust that gave women an unparalleled role in helping His children keep their second estate. As President J. Reuben Clark Jr. declared, motherhood is 'as divinely called, as eternally important in its place as the Priesthood itself.'
This definition is a part of my first lesson. My wife saw a need and filled it...immediately and with no thought of herself. It is a part of her nature and identity to do so. I am continually amazed by this as she gives birth to children, nurtures, feeds and teaches them. Honestly when President Lincoln said that he owed everything to his "angel" mother, I think his description of the heavenly manifestation was understated. It is nothing short of a godly work that mothers perform. Amber's ministration to our family and others is like watching God at work...because it actually is God at work through one of His daughters.
The next lesson is short and defies the popular conventional wisdom sarcastically shown in Disney's "Tangled." I know that the "Mother knows best" song is portrayed as wrong, but the line is true...Mothers really do know best! I know this from personal experience right now! Perhaps if I would have listened to my wife I would not be up at 2:00 AM! This idea of Mother's knowing best, and knowing what is important is described well in an October 2007 talk by Julie Beck entitled, "Mothers who know." I am grateful to have had a Mother who "knew" and to have my wife be another one of the Mothers who "know."
Now to the third lesson. Amber knew that I only woke up coughing once last night...and she can always recount the number of times that each child wakes up each night in addition to the times that I toss and turn. Some may say that she is just a light sleeper...but I live with this good woman and know differently. The reason why she can do this is because of her Christlike attributes of love, empathy and compassion. She is keenly aware of everything that is going on in our lives so that she can help any of us at any time. So that she can succor us.
Elder Holland described succoring someone as running to their aid and as something that describes Christ's efforts with us in Alma 7:11-12. "And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.
And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities."
I believe and know that our Heavenly Father placed within women an inherent ability to succor those who stand in need. Women are able to understand and minister to needs in incredible ways, similar to how Jesus did and does. There is a reason why Sheri Dew also said that women can "heal the souls of men." They are like the Savior in that and so many other ways. My wife is the most perfect example of this. Her example of Christlike love is perhaps best show in her efforts to bear children. She (and all mothers) enters the valley of the shadow of death in faith, quite literally giving her all to give life. I cannot think of more Christlike people than my own wife, my mother and my grandmothers.
This leads into the final lesson...how patient and forgiving my wife is. This is another way that she is such an example to me. The Savior taught Alma that, "as often as my people repent will I forgive them their trespasses against me." Mothers are the same. They are so willing to forgive and so quick to offer that forgiveness. I have truly been blessed by this. Mothers really do posses the divine attribute of charity, which is described by the prophet Mormon, "And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things...charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail--But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever..."
I think it no coincidence that charity is described as, "her."
Amber, you are the most incredible person I know. I love you and thank God every day that He has let me have you in my life. I don't know where I would be without you. Thank you for all that you do and all that you are. I honestly could never have known that life could be this good. I couldn't have imagined up a better wife and mother. I couldn't have imagined how happy I could be. God has brought this happiness into my life because of you!
I will finish up with a few of my favorite quotes on mothers:
"Satan has declared war on motherhood. He knows that those who rock the cradle can rock his earthly empire. And he knows that without righteous mothers loving and leading the next generation, the kingdom of God will fail." ( Sheri Dew, Are We Not All Mothers?)
We salute you, sisters, for the joy that is yours as you rejoice in a baby’s first smile and as you listen with eager ear to a child’s first day at school which bespeaks a special selflessness. Women, more quickly than others, will understand the possible dangers when the word self is militantly placed before other words like fulfillment. You rock a sobbing child without wondering if today’s world is passing you by, because you know you hold tomorrow tightly in your arms.
So often our sisters comfort others when their own needs are greater than those being comforted. That quality is like the generosity of Jesus on the cross. Empathy during agony is a portion of divinity!
I thank the Father that His Only Begotten Son did not say in defiant protest at Calvary, “My body is my own!” I stand in admiration of women today who resist the fashion of abortion, by refusing to make the sacred womb a tomb!
When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sound of lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the peacemaking of women in homes and in neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles and kitchens prove to be more controlling than what happened in congresses? When the surf of the centuries has made the great pyramids so much sand, the everlasting family will still be standing, because it is a celestial institution, formed outside telestial time. The women of God know this. (Elder Maxwell)
“This divine service of motherhood can be rendered only by mothers. It may not be passed to others. Nurses cannot do it; public nurseries cannot do it; hired help cannot do it--only mother, aided as much as may be by the loving hands of father, brothers, and sisters, can give the full needed measure of watchful care.” (President Packer)
To you young women with small children, yours is a tremendous challenge. So often there is not enough money. You must scrimp and save. You must be wise and careful in your expenditures. You must be strong and bold and brave and march forward with gladness in your eye and love in your heart. How blessed you are, my dear young mothers. You have children who will be yours forever. I hope that you have been sealed in the house of the Lord and that your family will be an everlasting family in the kingdom of our Father.
May you be given strength to carry your heavy load, to meet every obligation, to walk side by side with a good and faithful and caring man, and together with him rear and nurture and bring up your children in righteousness and truth. Nothing else you will ever own, no worldly thing you will ever acquire will be worth so much as the love of your children. God bless you, my dear, dear young mothers. (President Hinckley)
