Update in the life of Tennyson

So I'm actually going to start this post by going back about four months ago or so to the time when I was applying for the Training Coordinator position at the MTC. When I got the call that they decided to go with someone else, I experienced a lot of different emotions simultaneously and also had a ton of thoughts run through my head as well. I was sad, angry, confused, disappointed, and I honestly started to wonder if I even wanted to work at the MTC anymore, because I wanted that job so badly at the time that anything "less" seemed almost pointless. I mean, I had been teaching there longer than any other teacher in the Philippines area, I had been a Zone Coordinator for a long time, I felt good about the interviews, AND I had been praying like crazy that I would get the job, so why didn't I? The question of why kept ringing through my head over and over and over again every day. Even weeks and months later, the fact that I didn't get the job still haunted me at times. I just didn't understand why the Lord hadn't provided a way for me to get it when the timing seemed so perfect and it was an opportunity I had been hoping for a long time would present itself. Eventually, I got to the point where I was able to more or less forget about it and just move forward, but I still never felt as if I got any kind of answer as to why things didn't work out as I had hoped...until about a week ago as I was teaching my most recent district at the MTC (they left for the Philippines today). I honestly don't really remember specifically what I was teaching them, but the feeling that came to me as I looked at each of them while teaching was undeniable. THEY WERE THE REASON! In the blink of an eye I knew exactly why I hadn't been chosen to be the training coordinator. I needed to meet these particular representatives of our Savior, Jesus Christ, and I needed specifically to learn from their incredible examples of hard work, diligence, determination, service, sacrifice, faith, hope, and unconditional love. That same impression came very powerfully to me again last Saturday night when I had to bid a temporary farewell to half of the missionaries, and yet again earlier this afternoon when I bid a temporary farewell to the rest of them. Having taught at the MTC for as long as I have, I have become somewhat used to saying goodbye to missionaries as they depart to their respective fields of labor, and as a result, even though I have loved deeply every district I have taught, I haven't cried at the time of their departure for a really long time. When this district left, however, I couldn't keep the tears at bay, because each and every one of the Elders and Sisters in the district changed my life in very permanent and eternal ways. I am a different and better person now because of them. The last time I was with the entire district at once, they gave me a journal in which they had each written a personal note to me. As I read their words, I was completely overwhelmed by their expressions of love and gratitude for me. I honestly don't know how it happened, or even when, but at some point they became something much more to me than friends; they became my brothers and sisters in Christ, my allies in the battle for the souls of God's children. In my Patriarchal Blessing it says, "You are blessed, also, to be able to make friends. You have many friends but few close friends. This is also a blessing unto you. You should not be dismayed by this, but should try to go forth and do the things that are necessary, and remember that close friends are close friends." This short paragraph has always bothered me a little bit to be honest, even though it clearly states that I "should not be dismayed by this." Over the years, I have indeed made a lot of friends, but most of them have passed in and out of my life in a relatively short period of time. The truth is, outside of all of you, I could really only count on one hand the number of people I would consider to be my close friends; but these Elders and Sisters are now a part of that list, and they have inexplicably helped me find peace in the fact that I will only ever have a few close friends. Anyway, since this post was all about missionaries and missionary work, I want to end by testifying that I know that God lives. He is my father and yours. He loves ALL of his children without exception, even one as imperfect as me. Jesus Christ is His Only Begotten Son, who also loves us perfectly and who atoned for my sins and yours. He is my Savior, my Redeemer, my Advocate with the Father, my dearest and closest friend of all, and HE LIVES!!! I know He does! I know it because I have felt it in every part of my heart. The light of the everlasting gospel of Jesus Christ has been instilled within my heart so deeply that nothing could ever remove it, and it has lit a fire in me that will never die, but will remain alive and vibrant in my very soul for all eternity; for my God "hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh" (2 Nephi 4:21). That is the miracle of the gospel and of the Atonement upon which it stands. It changes lives, heals broken hearts, and binds families together forever. Of this I bear witness in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.