Today it's all about Amber...and Mom's everywhere

So tonight as I was getting ready for bed I looked at my wife and wondered aloud, "How do you do it?" "Do what?" She responded. "Everything!" I replied.  She informed me that she didn't do everything. I have to disagree. Even though my wife is correct roughly 99%of the time! tonight she wasn't. She does  do everything. She is everything to all of us. I looked at her with the little life that is growing inside of her (the sixth one she has grown through the grace of God), and was simply amazed at her.

She wakes up every morning at 6:30 after spending what is usually a sleepless night. Between the 17 month old baby girl and the three year old boy (and the occasional bad dream from the older boys), I don't know that she averages more than 4-5 hours of sleep every night. She labors unceasingly throughout the day, homeschooling our 6 year old and providing home cooked, made from scratch meals nearly every night. She changes diapers, cleans the house, nurses sick kids when they need it, cleans up cuts and scratches, goes grocery shopping and runs our house like a well oiled machine....and what I just mentioned that she does is only a drop in the bucket. She does so much more!

Some may read this and say that she must be unfulfilled or that her life may be dull and uninteresting. Unless she is hiding something it is something quite to the contrary. Before we even got married Amber told me that it was her dream and desire to be at home with her children, raising them, loving them, being there for them.  Even as today's society looks down upon motherhood as a second class job opportunity, my wife delights in the growth and development of her kids and with a grace, joy and beauty of unselfishness relates to me the special little moments that she takes in with them each day.

Some of my favorite memories are laying in bed at night and hearing her mention something that she did with the kids that day...or something they said that just made her laugh.  The love that she has for her family just glows from her as she talks.  When I think about all that she has done, does and continues to do, I wonder how she does it. How can she be laying on the operating table with baby number four having just been taken Caesarian section and before she is even stitched up ask the doctor to make sure to tell her if she can have more children? How can she out her body through the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual difficulty of 6 children in our nine years of marriage? How does she do it all? And with a smile on her beautiful face?

As I contemplated it tonight, I could think of only one explanation that made sense...it is explained in a few verses in Moroni chapter seven:

45 And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

46 Wherefore... if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail--

47 But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.

48 Wherefore... pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ...that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure....

 (Moroni 7:45-48)

How does she do it? Charity! She loves with such a perfect love that she is unfailing. She is literally willing to endure all things out of the love that she has for her children. She puts her life on the line for them in a very real way to bring them into the world. She spends every waking (and often sleeping) moment in efforts to lead them to God and to raise them to be the kind of people that she knows that they can be through God's help.  All other reasons would fail, but because my wife loves her family the way that Christ loves all of us, she has the strength and the ability to go through the valley of the shadow of death and come out triumphant on the other end.

I don't know that I can express in words how grateful I am for her, and how amazed I am at her goodness. I know I certainly don't express it enough, but I couldn't have more respect or admiration for any person on this earth than I do for my lovely wife. She is the most Christ like human being that I have encountered and never ceases to amaze me with her strength, her wit, her joy and her grace. The blessings that she has received from our Heavenly Father are many and more than impressive in nature. God be thanked for the gift of mothers everywhere. Mothers who give their all for all of us and bless our lives in so many ways. Allow me to end with a thought from Elder Neal A. Maxwell from his April 1978 conference address that I think describes my wife so well (and my mother as well):

"We salute you, sisters, for the joy that is yours as you rejoice in a baby’s first smile and as you listen with eager ear to a child’s first day at school which bespeaks a special selflessness. Women, more quickly than others, will understand the possible dangers when the word self is militantly placed before other words like fulfillment. You rock a sobbing child without wondering if today’s world is passing you by, because you know you hold tomorrow tightly in your arms.

So often our sisters comfort others when their own needs are greater than those being comforted. That quality is like the generosity of Jesus on the cross. Empathy during agony is a portion of divinity!

I thank the Father that His Only Begotten Son did not say in defiant protest at Calvary, “My body is my own!” I stand in admiration of women today who resist the fashion of abortion, by refusing to make the sacred womb a tomb!

When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sound of lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the peacemaking of women in homes and in neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles and kitchens prove to be more controlling than what happened in congresses? When the surf of the centuries has made the great pyramids so much sand, the everlasting family will still be standing, because it is a celestial institution, formed outside telestial time."

Just another Sunday...

So this mornings festivities began with me being a little bit more impatient than normal...being a little snappy with my family and just not being as kind as I should. Then Corban melted my heart as I was putting his dress shirt on and he said, "Dad, you're awesome!" Love that kid! Doesn't get better than that!

It was a nice day today so the kids wanted to walk to church. I stuffed Taft and Corban into the wagon and Audrey into the stroller and we started on the long journey to our church building.  Trenton started lagging behind so I started to threaten that we would go back home and not walk if he didn't keep up. Then he informed me that he left his scriptures at home and needed to go back and get them. I told him if we went back to get them that we wouldn't be able to walk. He caught up and we started off again. He lagged behind once again and then informed me, "Dad, The Lord wants me to go back and get my scriptures." Love that kid!

Although I should have been overjoyed that my son has such righteous desires, I was more out out that I had to walk all the way back home again and was a little frustrated. We drove to church after getting home and getting his scriptures. Looking back now, I wish that I would have been a better father and encouraged his goodness rather than being upset with him for delaying us.

This afternoon the boys were building some Legos and so I joined in the fun for a few minutes. We had some Lego ninja dudes and we started into a little "war" with them. Soon enough one of the ninjas died of course. Taft used the doctrine of the resurrection to his advantage and said something to this effect, "now Heavenly Father sent my ninja back from heaven and so now he can't die anymore because after we get resurrected we can't die anymore." Love that kid!

Trey and I had a little tender moment during sacrament meeting. Maybe I am expecting him to grow up too fast but I have been trying to help him understand lately that he needs to be mor intent and reverent during sacrament meeting. My main point with him lately has been that he is getting baptized in August and needs to be ready to make that commitment to Jesus. Today he was struggling a bit and so I had him read Mosiah 18:8-10 which describes the baptismal covenant. He didn't understand it super well and so I whispered some of the meanings to him and we talked briefly about why it was so important to be reverent during the meeting. He was marvelous the rest of the time. Just shows the power of the word! The scriptures/the words of God have the power to change lives and change the way we think and act and live. So grateful to have them to help us in parenting! So grateful for all those who have given so much so that we could have God's word with us today! Don't know where I would be without it!

Welcome to paradise!

So tonight Amber took Trey on his date night and so I was home with Trenton, Taft, Corban and Audrey. We ate dinner (delicious tacos of Amber's making) and then the kids wanted to play outside...so we did! We played until it got dark and Corban came up to me with his bike helmet on and a little snot running down his face and said, "Dad, I'm cold!" So we went inside.

Trenton, Taft and Corban decided that they wanted to do something for me in the basement so they went down to work on it. Taft came upstairs to check on me as I started to go downstairs and he went running back down the stairs yelling, "he's coming! Dad's coming!" I came down the stairs and trenton was hiding just around the corner as you come down. He jumped out and said, "Welcome to paradise!"

Turns out that they had been making an extra soft bed for me out of blankets and pillows. They did this because I have shoulder problems from football, baseball and wrestling in high school. I also have injured my ankle three times in the last 18 months (I know, I am so fragile!). They presented me with the bed and then asked what I wanted to do. I really wanted to sleep and they were going to let me but I decided that since they had been so kind that I would try to do something else that they would enjoy more. I asked if they wanted to watch a movie and they said they did. I asked which one they wanted to watch and those sweet boys responded that they wanted me to choose because they wanted tonight to be like Fathers Day.  

Honestly, Trenton was 100% accurate to say, "welcome to paradise!", because that is really what paradise is all about...being with the ones you love and experiencing joy. That is what the point of our Heavenly Father's plan is...to be with our loved ones in His presence forever. That is what Jesus gave His life for. God be thanked for these bounteous gifts and for the tender mercies which He bestows upon me each day. They let me know that He is aware of me and is always looking out for my eternal interests. 

Jesus will never stop loving us!

Wanted to jot down a couple memorable experiences from today so as to not forget them. First one happened this morning as we were getting the boys ready for church. I was helping Corban get into his blue dress shirt and as I was helping him into his shirt he said, "look at me, I'm a blue missionary!" Then he proceeded to give himself his own theme-type music (superhero stuff...you know what I'm talking about!) as we finished getting dressed. Pretty funny if I do say so myself!

Later on we were at my parents house and the boys started making their own little restaurant and taking orders and bringing us our "food" on little toy plates. They brought my mom some peach pie and then Taft brought my dad some "soup". My dad asked Taft why my mom got peach pie and he had to have soup and Taft just short of shrugged his shoulders. Then my dad asked Taft what kind of soup it was and he didn't really have a response for a minute until he came up with a brilliant one: "whatever kind you wanted!" Can't argue with that logic! That's my boy!

Tonight on the way home we were discussing Ether 12:6 which reads, "And now, I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith." We talked about how after we have difficult things happen in our lives that we stay faithful through that God gives us peace, comfort and joy to confirm to us that we have chosen the right and that our faith is not in vain. 

We talked about some of the deaths in our family (4 of my siblings and also my grandparents on my moms side). We talked about the hope that the resurrection of Christ brings and my boys brought up the fact that Jesus now will never die again. It's kind of a superhero type status to them right now, but in am ok with it because Jesus is certainly more a part of their lives and more reliable than any superhero ever will be! They started talking about how nobody will ever be able to kill Jesus again now that he has been resurrected and then talked about how Jesus loves all of us. Trenton then said something quite profound...he said, "Jesus will never stop loving us, even if we hurt Him!" I was so happy to hear him express that truth and recognize that he really believed it. It is so true and I hope that he keeps that knowledge to help Him through the rough times (Helaman 5:12).

It reminds me of one of my favorite passages in the scriptures from Paul's writings (Romans 8): "35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

36 As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.

37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.

38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,

39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

 (Romans 8:35-39)

I have found Paul's (and Trenton's) words to be true for myself and would invite all to put the words to the test and find out for themselves that they are true. Jesus really does love us and will never stop loving us! He is the light and life of the world, is all powerful and yet still calls us His friends. I am proud to be one of His friends and testify of His life, reality and divinity. He lives!

Tolerance and Sexuality (a sensitive subject, so be forewarned)

To start out, I have to say that I hope that everyone will see this for what I intend it to be...an invitation to find greater happiness.  This is not intended as a condemnation, but rather an invitation to seek, find and obey truth that will bring great peace to our lives. Today as I sat in sacrament meeting with my daughter sleeping on my lap, I was extremely grateful for the blessings of marriage and family that God has given to us, and grateful for strength through the Atonement to overcome weaknesses and be able to experience the joys that come through marriage and family.  I intend this post in the spirit of observation and understanding and not in the spirit of judgment or criticism.

The other day my five minute browse on Facebook produced an interesting find...some Mormon Mom's "liking" a status where someone discussed how they were beginning a homosexual relationship.  Because of the truths regarding marriage and family that I understand I was disturbed.  However, I became even more disturbed when I found that they were not just "liking" it, but making comments that not only condoned but encouraged this relationship.  To be frank, I was completely appalled and utterly disappointed.  We should most certainly interact with love and tolerance with people of all faiths and be respectful regardless of someone's race, color, creed or sexuality, but I think that our tolerance is becoming a vice.  In other words I think that we have pushed tolerance far beyond what its intent is and are now embracing practices and behaviors that are contrary to the nature of God and the nature of happiness. We are not trying to abandon sin and become comfortable with God, we are actually, (through our actions),becoming more comfortable with the sin and abandoning God (Brad Wilcox, July 2011 BYU devotional, "His grace is sufficient").

Please understand, I certainly know that I am not without faults.  In fact, I know I have many of them.  My intent is not to pass judgment, but rather to invite people to stand up for principles of truth.  This post isn't meant to tear anyone down and I certainly hope it doesn't come off as self-righteous, but as a father of 5 (going on 6) children in a community where the majority professes "Mormonism" as their faith of choice, I am concerned when parents of children my kids associate with are condoning and encouraging homosexual behavior (please note that I am saying behavior and not tendencies - we cannot help our temptations, but we can help our behaviors).  I understand the need for tolerance, but let's not allow tolerance to trump truth. 

Let me explain what I mean by that.  No matter what anyone says, there will likely be people who will choose to pursue a homosexual lifestyle.  In fact, despite what anyone says, there will be people who will choose to pursue many other deviant sexual lifestyles.  Nobody can stop that from happening, and God allows it because our free will is essential to His Eternal Plan.  The fact that they choose this lifestyle and think that they find fulfillment in it does not change th fact that living an active homosexual lifestyle is immoral and wrong.  In other words, just because people choose these lifestyles and actions and believe that their lifestyles and actions are "fulfilling" and "make them happy" does not change the fact that there are absolute eternal truths that they are ignoring that could bring a greater peace, happiness and fulfillment to their lives that they had not previously imagined possible.

Some of these absolute truths are as follows:

"...marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children."  Notice that this is an absolute definition.  Between man and a woman.  Not between man and man or woman and woman.  Marriage and family are central to God's plan.  Not the world's definition of marriage or family which may include any number of different options to choose from; but God's definition-which is specific, sacred and proven.

"God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife."  Again an absolute - there isn't allowance for ANY sexual intercourse outside the bonds of marriage (which is intended to be between a man and a woman).  This means that God requires complete abstinence before marriage, and complete fidelity afterwards.  In addition, another eternal truth states that, "the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed."  Sexual relations in marriage are good and holy and intended to bring closeness to a couple as a means for expressing their love for one another.  In addition, these relations are a holy sacrament in which we are blessed to be able to use a part of God's power to create life.  Sex is not merely an act in which we gratify physical desires.  It is a holy and sacred rite in which we express love to our spouse in the ultimate act of oneness and participate in the creation of life.  As Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said:
"...May I suggest that human intimacy, that sacred, physical union ordained of God for a married couple, deals with a symbol that demands special sanctity. Such an act of love between a man and a woman is--or certainly was ordained to be--a symbol of total union: union of their hearts, their hopes, their lives, their love, their family, their future, their everything. It is a symbol that we try to suggest in the temple with a word like seal...."
"...But such a total, virtually unbreakable union, such an unyielding commitment between a man and a woman, can only come with the proximity and permanence afforded in a marriage covenant, with the union of all that they possess--their very hearts and minds, all their days and all their dreams. They work together, they cry together, they enjoy Brahms and Beethoven and breakfast together, they sacrifice and save and live together for all the abundance that such a totally intimate life provides such a couple. And the external symbol of that union, the physical manifestation of what is a far deeper spiritual and metaphysical bonding, is the physical blending that is part of--indeed, a most beautiful and gratifying expression of--that larger, more complete union of eternal purpose and promise." (http://familylifeeducation.org/gilliland/procgroup/Souls.htm)

I borrow another point from this same address by Elder Holland:  "But wait," you argue, "It's MY body, it's MY life and I should be able to choose how I use that body and live that life.  How can you tell me what to do with MY body and MY life?"  Let me stop you right there...IT ISN'T YOUR LIFE and IT ISN'T YOUR BODY.  As the apostle Paul explained in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, "What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?  For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s."  The body and life that you have are not yours.  They are His!  His meaning the Lord Jesus Christ.  His meaning the Holy One who has you engraved on the palms of His hands, He who will never forget you (Isaiah 49:6).  He purchased your freedom, your life and the body that you have and thus has every right to ask you to live in a certain way and use that body only in the ways that He prescribes!

Another eternal truth:  "Parents (again meaning husband and wife) have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations."  Some of the most important commandments that are given to us to teach our children relate to human sexuality.  It is essential that our children understand the sacredness of the topic and the very specific rules relating to our use of the powers of procreation.

And finally:"The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ."(Quotes taken from: "The Family: A Proclamation to the World", https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation ).  I have experienced these joys in family life and have seen how they are greater and grander when I am striving to live in the way the Savior asks me to and when I am teaching my children those things that the Savior taught.

So while I understand the need for tolerance, peace and understanding, such tolerance CANNOT come at the expense of us not standing firm on principles and doctrines of truth.  As Elder Richard G. Scott says in the February 2014 Ensign magazine, "Men and women are needed who will act nobly and courageously for what the Lord has defined as right--not for what is politically correct or socially acceptable. We need individuals who have the spiritual, righteous influence that will motivate others to live honorably. We need statesmen with integrity, businessmen who are honest and morally clean, attorneys who defend justice and the legal system, and government officials who preserve principle because it is right. Above all, we need mothers and fathers who will preserve the sanctity and safety of the home and the integrity of the family in which faith in God and obedience to His commandments are taught as the foundation of a productive life."

We would not encourage our friends or our children to steal, or to kill, or to be intolerant.  Why do we sometimes encourage them in the breaking of some of God's most sacred commandments which relate to chastity and virtue?  Because that is what "makes them happy?"  It is not!  As the prophet Alma once said, "Wickedness never was happiness." (see Alma 41:10 in The Book of Mormon).  Rather than encourage them to engage in sinful behavior, invite them to find true, lasting peace and happiness as they come unto Christ and obey His words.  Treat each individual with respect, compassion and love, but do not allow your "tolerance" to overshadow and overtake TRUTH!

Elder Dallin H. Oaks puts it well, "the existence of God and the existence of absolute truth are fundamental to life on this earth, whether they are believed or not.  We also know that evil exists and that some things are simply, seriously, and everlastingly wrong...'
"...It is well to worry about our moral foundation.  We live in a world where more and more persons of influence are teaching and acting out a belief that there is no absolute right and wrong, that all authority and all rules of behavior are man-made choices that can prevail over the commandments of God..."
"...The philosophy of moral relativism, which holds that each person is free to choose for himself what is right and wrong, is becoming the unofficial creed for many in America and other western nations.  At the extreme level, evil acts that used to be localized and covered up like a boil are now legalized and paraded like a banner.  Persuaded by this philosophy, many of the rising generation—youth and young adults—are caught up in self-serving pleasures, pagan painting and piercing of body parts, foul language, revealing attire, pornography, dishonesty, and degrading sexual indulgence..."
"...In this circumstance, all of us—and especially you of the rising generation—have a duty to stand up and speak to affirm that God exists and that there are absolute truths His commandments establish." http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/-truth-and-tolerance-elder-dallin-h-oaks

Although it is becoming increasingly unpopular to say it, the fact remains that any sexual relationships outside of a marriage between a man and a woman are immoral and wrong.  I would invite those who feel otherwise to reconsider and make it a matter of study and prayer.  I believe that you will find that the way to lasting happiness is the way that Jesus showed us.  That way includes keeping the commandments of God.  "I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness. O remember, remember that these things are true; for the Lord God hath spoken it." (Mosiah 2:41 in The Book of Mormon).