Remembering

I often have good intentions with everything... I'm going to remember God more,  act more Christ like,  Share the gospel more,  be more kind to my children, etc. The list of my good intentions could go on for some time. Problem is that i feel a lot like Nephi: "16 Behold, my soul delighteth in the things of the Lord; and my heart pondereth continually upon the things which I have seen and heard.
17 Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.
18 I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me (2 Nephi 4)

Paul felt similarly in Roman's 7:14 For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin.
15 For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I.
16 If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good.
17 Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.
18 For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.
19 For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.

Bottom line is that i know my heart is in the right place and I'm trying.  I also know that Jesus died in my place so i don't have to be so afraid of my standing before God.  I certainly still try to obey and be better,  but I do so (as C.S. Lewis said), "in a less worried way. " Not because I can somehow redeem myself through my obedience,  but because I want to be better as a result of the influence of Christ's mercy and grace on my heart. Each day God's mercy is shown to us, and I'm determined to write more experiences down of when I notice God's grace and mercy on my life.

Start yesterday morning.  To be honest I've been scared for awhile that I'm just not cut out to be a teacher.  I have honestly wondered if I needed to go a new route. I listened to a devotional where a story was told about President Packer and how he decided ro become a teacher, and the Spirit just washed over me and I was reminded of all the miracles that brought me to this point and I knew I was still soing what God wanted me to do.

Then later that day I had an experience with a young man on the first day of class where I was again reminded of why I do what I do and why the Lord has me here.

Yesterday night I had a chance to go on a date with my wife and just realized again the simple joy that she brings to my life and how being with her makes my life far more complete. She is the love of my life and has been an absolute rock for me through everything.

Today I watched my kids play in the sprinklers, then on our playground and then helped them wash my car. I love being with them and just seeing how happy simple things make them. I was pushing Evelyn and Lanaya on the swings and realized that I would spend what we spent fifty times over just to hear their laughs and see their smiles. Money is nothing compared to just seeing how happy they are with something so simple. Then we made some sodas tonight with some flavoring and all the kids were just stoked. They were very grateful and I was grateful for God's mercy that allows us to have just enough extra money to buy these things.

Then I got to have Evelyn fall asleep on my chest as I read to her and Corban. I also got to play card games with Trey and Corban while she did. I just feel so grateful to God for allowing me to be a husband and father and to experience the pure joy that I do feel in those roles.

In addition I am preparing a talk for stake conference in a few weeks and have been having some thoughts come to mind from the Holy Ghost that I can share.  It is obvious that these thoughts are real inspiration,  because i would not have them myself!

God is good!

Reminders

Today was filled with reminders. During the sacrament I was reminded of my Savior's power and sacrifice on my behalf. I was reminded of the peace and power of forgiveness.

During fast and testimony meeting a young boy about 8 or so got up and brought his scriptures and read John 3:16. "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life"

That simple verse and testimony helped me remember the very center of the gospel and the very reason why I was at church that day and that was to remember the sacrifice of Jesus Christ and the fact that his atonement makes everything possible

Tonight I was reminded of the importance of remembering Christ and the center of the Gospel as my daughter Evelyn said her night prayers she remembered to thank God for the owies that Jesus got for her and to remember to thank God for Jesus's resurrection. So grateful for all these reminders today to help me remember what is most important in life.

Answers to prayer

https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/sheri-l-dew_born-lead-born-glory/

https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/jeffrey-r-and-patricia-t-holland_things-learned-together/

http://www.byui.edu/devotionals/bonnie-moon

Slacking

So I'm not getting this done every day like I told myself I was going to. However, I do have to say that the last few days my testimony of God and of the scriptures has been strengthened. I have been having a rough time with my weaknesses and the last several days in scripture study I have read things that have encouraged me and gave me hope to keep trying and keep moving forward.
The power of Jesus Christ is real. He really does forgive us when we ask sincerely. Our Heavenly Father's Love is real. He manifests it daily if we watch for it. It often is shown through other people. The Book of Mormon is absolutely the word of God. These are some basic things that I know, especially after the last few days!

Weaknesses

So the last several weeks have been really rough with moving and I just seem to be on Satan's "top 10 people to pick on" list... Been feeling like DC 122 describe how I feel very well:
"if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee"

So I have been pleading with God to take away my temptations and just let me skate by unnoticed for awhile. I feel like Nephi when he said, "Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.
18 I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me.
19 And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted"

I also commiserate with Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:
And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.
8 For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.
9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong."

Except I haven't gotten to where I feel strong in my weakness yet. Praying to get there soon but I know God is aware of me because my book of Mormon study this morning was in Alma 14-15 and I noticed how God let some people suffer and how there is always a point to it all in the end and how he allowed Alma and Amulek to be in prison and struggle for some time before delivering them. I know He will deliver me in His time and His way and that He speaks to me through the book of Mormon and helps me feel His love and concern for my individual trials and struggles. So grateful for the knowledge of a loving heavenly Father and for a Savior who experienced all temptations on my behalf and knows how to help and strengthen me when I come to Him in faith (Hebrews 2:16-18; 4:14-16).

A dad again

So today Amber went to the doctor to check and see how the little one inside her tummy was doing. According to everything the doctor could see all is well. When she sent me the text with the picture of the ultra sound and I saw the little baby and knew he/she (not sure on gender yet) was healthy, I was so happy! It brings such great joy to be a dad and to hear that a new little one is coming and will be healthy is incredibly joyful!

To add to that, Shaina and Layton has their little boy Taysom today and all is well with Mom and baby. Truly God's hand was manifest in my life today!

Testimony

Tonight the three oldest boys shared their testimonies in family night. They shared specific things that they had come to know were true.a couple even shared specific experiences where they had come to realize those things such as a couple weeks ago when I gave them priesthood blessing of comfort and counsel when we moved to Syracuse.

Corban also shared his in his own way as we asked him what he knew to be true. I feel like I fail as a parent so much so it was awesome to hear their testimonies and see that their faith really is being strengthened!

Monthly Fathers Interviews

So every month on the first Sunday of the month I have an interview with each of my children. We usually play a card game of some sort while we talk about life and about some things that will be coming up that they will have to deal with. Amber is so patient to be with the other kids while I am doing the individual interviews.

Today I took extra long with Trey because I felt an impression that I needed to. He is such a good kid and has a gift for understanding the gospel, especially when he has the desire to.  I noticed that he did better the rest of the day and was very helpful and kind with his siblings and more obedient to his parents. It was proof positive of 1 John 4:19... "We love Him because He first loved us"

Obviously this verse references our relationship to God and Jesus, but I think the principle holds true for earthly relationships as well. If we show our commitment and love, the other is more likely to reciprocate. I am making a goal of trying that with my kids and being more loving. A lofty goal, but worth trying for! I know how I feel about God and Jesus because of all they have done for me and hope I can I still those same things in my kids.

I truly believe that much of the reason for his change in heart and behavior that day was due to what he began to understand about the Lord Jesus and the importance of His Atonement, crucifixion and resurrection and what it means to us.  2 Corinthians 5:20-21, Colossians 2:13-15, 1 Peter 2:21-25 were references that we discussed about how Jesus became sin for us and then was nailed to the cross and died in a great symbol of the mission of Jesus Christ... that our sins died with Him so that we could be forgiven.  Moroni 6:8 - "But as oft as they repented and sought forgiveness, with real intent, they were forgiven."

When we truly understand what Jesus has done for us, it leads us to have a changed heart and desires.

Taft's baptism

Today our little Taft took a huge step...he decided to follow the example of Jesus Christ to be baptized. You could see the excitement on his face from the moment I woke him up a little before 7:00 a.m. He could not wait to make that commitment.

As usual, getting a family of nine out the door is difficult... Especially when you have to all be in your Sunday best and at the church by 9:00 a.m. Somehow we made it there without too much difficulty.

As the time for the ordinance drew nearer, I could feel God's love pouring out on me and on everyone at the service who was willing to receive it. I was constantly reminded that DC 84:20-21 teaches us that: 20 Therefore, in the ordinances thereof, the power of godliness is manifest.
21 And without the ordinances thereof, and the authority of the priesthood, the power of godliness is not manifest unto men in the flesh;

I certainly felt the power of godliness manifest. As I performed Taft's baptism I could feel God's love for our little man who just grew up a whole bunch today. When we got done we got back into the hallway leading to the locker room area out of sight and I just picked up my son and held him for several moments, with my emotions very near the surface. I could feel Heavenly Father saying to Taft that he too was one of His beloved son's, and that He was also well pleased with Taft.

My heart also swelled with love for this young man. I have to admit I am one of the most imperfect parents there is. I struggle with my temper and I do not always treat my children with the respect and love that is due them, but I also have to admit that there are days when God just lets me forget that and feel the joy of being a father. Today was one of those days!

I testify that ordinances are real things that God asks us to participate in, and that we invite His power and grace more fully in to our lives as we demonstrate our commitment to Him through accepting those ordinances and their associated covenants. The covenants also connect us with God's power in amazing ways that I have experienced personally. When we are willing to accept these things, God pours His Spirit out on us and helps us to feel His love for us. So grateful! 🙏

Apologies

Today was our Taft's birthday. I started the morning by taking him "fishing" in the local pond. Wasn't very successful...especially when I got mad at him for tangling up the rods when I knew I should have asked him to do something different to prevent it. I had even had a spiritual impression that something was going to happen that I glossed over and ignored.

Anyway, today's life lesson has to do with apologizing ... Which I have been doing a lot of lately. I keep getting upset with my kids when they don't deserve it and then I end up having to apologize when I realize that I am almost always the one in the wrong.

After I got upset with Taft I realized my error and apologized to him while I was trying to fix up the lines. As soon as I did it then I was able to quickly fix the problem and move on. The same is true of our lives in general. Apologize and we will be able to move on with forgiveness​ and healing.

Answers to prayers

I determined to write a little each day about how I have seen the hand of God in my life. I was impressed to do this because of studying 1 Nephi 1:1-3,16-17.

So we moved to Davis county last week through a series of miraculous spiritual promptings and events. We have not been excited about it because of leaving a house, a neighborhood and a work assignment that we loved. However, we have had some confirmations that it was right for us to do. Today we received another confirmation as I studied 1 Nephi 4:6 and read this quote from Elder John Groberg: “Be willing to take reasonable risks. We live in an age of reason, logic, facts, and figures. These can be useful if kept in subjection to faith in the Lord, Jesus Christ. But if they ever take precedence over faith in Him, then they are not useful and can be very harmful. I have found in my life that most of the good decisions I have made may not have been made if they were based solely on logic or reason. …  

“… Nephi was determined to do what God wanted him to do even with logic to the contrary. The scriptures tell us in 1 Nephi 4:6 that he went forth not knowing beforehand what he should do but knowing he should obey God and get the plates. …  

“I suspect had he listened only to reason, Nephi and his brethren would still be waiting outside the walls of Jerusalem. I sometimes wonder if by our listening to reason and logic too much, and not trusting God enough, we may find ourselves waiting outside the walls of His holy city” (“Trust in the Lord” [CES fireside for young adults, May 1, 1994], 3

This quote gave us the strength to continue pushing forward and is confirmation of 1 Nephi 1:20 regarding the tender mercies of the Lord which Elder Bednar says "are the very personal and individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance, loving-kindnesses, consolation, support, and spiritual gifts which we receive from and because of and through the Lord Jesus Christ. Truly, the Lord suits “his mercies according to the conditions of the children of men” (D&C 46:15).
Recall how the Savior instructed His Apostles that He would not leave them comfortless. Not only would He send “another Comforter” (John 14:16), even the Holy Ghost, but the Savior said that He would come to them (see John 14:18). Let me suggest that one of the ways whereby the Savior comes to each of us is through His abundant and tender mercies. For instance, as you and I face challenges and tests in our lives, the gift of faith and an appropriate sense of personal confidence that reaches beyond our own capacity are two examples of the tender mercies of the Lord. Repentance and forgiveness of sins and peace of conscience are examples of the tender mercies of the Lord. And the persistence and the fortitude that enable us to press forward with cheerfulness through physical limitations and spiritual difficulties are examples of the tender mercies of the Lord."

God is real. He loves us. He is aware of us. Of this I have no doubt

Grace

Grace Bible study outline
Grace Topical Study Feb. 2017
What is grace?
Strong’s Concordance: “the merciful kindness by which God, exerting his holy influence upon souls, turns them to Christ, keeps, strengthens, increases them in Christian faith, knowledge, affection, and kindles them to the exercise of the Christian virtues”
Bible Dictionary: “The main idea of the word is divine means of help or strength, given through the bounteous mercy and love of Jesus Christ.  It is through the grace of the Lord Jesus, made possible by His atoning sacrifice, that mankind will be raised in immortality, every person receiving his body from the grave in a condition of everlasting life. It is likewise through the grace of the Lord that individuals, through faith in the Atonement of Jesus Christ and repentance of their sins, receive strength and assistance to do good works that they otherwise would not be able to maintain if left to their own means. This grace is an enabling power that allows men and women to lay hold on eternal life and exaltation.”
Why do we have it and how can we access it?  Hebrews 2:16-18; Hebrews 4:14-16; Alma 7:11-13; Isaiah 53:3-5
Grace as a gift:  2 Timothy 1:9; Mosiah 2:18-25; Acts 17:28; 2 Corinthians 3:5; Romans 3:20-25; Romans 5:6-19; 1 Peter 4:10; 2 Nephi  2:3-4; (notice the tense in these next few passages) Colossians 1:14; Colossians 3:13; Ephesians 1:7; Ephesians 2:8-9

As used in the verses in Romans, a gift is defined as: "a favour with which one receives without any merit of his own, the gift of divine grace, the gift of faith, knowledge, holiness, virtue, the economy of divine grace, by which the pardon of sin and eternal salvation is appointed to sinners in consideration of the merits of Christ laid hold of by faith, grace or gifts denoting extraordinary powers, distinguishing certain Christians and enabling them to serve the church of Christ, the reception of which is due to the power of divine grace operating on their souls by the Holy Spirit

Grace as an enabling power: Alma 22:14; 1 Corinthians 15:10; Galatians 2:20; Mosiah 24:8-15; John 15:1-5; Matthew 11:28-30
Grace to turn weaknesses to strength: Ether 12:27; 2 Corinthians 12:9; Isaiah 40:28-31
How does grace relate to salvation?
Pres. Uchtdorf, “The Gift of Grace”, April 2015 Conference
Pres. Uchtdorf, “He Will Place You on His Shoulders and Carry You Home”, April 2016 Conference
Ephesians 2:8-10; Titus 3:5; Romans 6:23; 2 Nephi 2:4; DC 88:33 

Salvation… Justification & Sanctification
“Justification and Sanctification” Ensign June 2001, Elder Christofferson, DC 20:30-31
Justification: “To be pardoned from punishment for sin and declared guiltless. A person is justified by the Savior’s grace through faith in him.” – Romans 3:20,23-26; Romans 5:1-2,9-11; 2 Nephi 2:5-8
Sanctification: “The process of becoming free from sin, pure, clean, and holy through the atonement of Jesus Christ.” – 2 Corinthians 3:18; 1 John 3:1-3; John 15:1-5; Philippians 2:12-13