Sunday, November 30, 2014

It's great to be a dad!

So I just wanted to write down a couple of reflections on fatherhood and being a dad tonight before I go to sleep. First of all I just want to say that probably the majority of the time I fail at parenting. Let's have a moment of brutal honesty here...having six kids eight and under can sometimes get under my skin and my temper gets the best of me and I don't treat my kids the way that they deserve. They are amazing young sons and daughters of God and sometimes I forget that and don't give them the respect and love that I need to. I hope that God will cut my kids some slack when my shortcomings cause them to be affected negatively in some way or another.  A lot of the times I feel like a failure and wonder if I am doing much good with my kids. It's no fun to feel what way. However, with that being said, the times when things go right just more than make up for any of the wrongs. I am grateful for the atonement of Jesus Christ that will allow all of the things that my kids experience negatively that were not their fault to b made up for.  Tonight I want to share a couple of very personal things that went right in the parenting world over the last month or two.
The first occurred during scripture study a month or so ago as we studied Alma 26 as Ammon praises the Lord for His goodness and excellency. He talks about how the Lord is aware of everyone at the end of that chapter.  Ammon says, "God is mindful of every people, whatsoever land they may be in; yea, he numbereth his people, and his bowels of mercy are over all the earth" http://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/alma/26?lang=eng
After we read the verses I asked my kids if they knew that God was aware of them and loved them. Taft responded with kind of a cute, typical five year old response, and then my two oldest boys responded that they couldn't think of something specifically where they had come to know that. I invited them to pray that night and ask Heavenly Father to tell them that He loved them and knew them.  They said they would. I told them that I didn't know exactly how He would respond, but that I knew He would.
That night as they got ready for bed, I talked to them briefly about making sure that they gave Heavenly Father Time to answer their prayer before they got back up from praying...to make sure that they didn't just say a prayer and move on, but that they should listen for an answer from God. They both knelt down and started to pray.
At this point it is important to know that my two oldest boys are 8 and 6 respectively. To have them pray for longer than 15-20 seconds is a minor miracle. Trenton got up after about 3 minutes or so, which was quite a bit longer than his normal prayers, so I figured something good had happened. I asked him to come and tell me about his prayer and he came over and explained that he had a warm feeling come over him and I asked him what God was saying to him and he said that God was telling him that he loved him. I told him to never forget it and then gave him a hug.
Trey was still praying at this point and I was honestly beginning to wonder if he had maybe fallen asleep or something. However, after about 6 minutes or so, he got up and his countenance was clearly different than it was before his prayer. He had a very serious look about him that I will never forget. I asked him to tell me about his prayer and he got a little choked up and said, "Dad, I just got this feeling..." I asked him what the feeling was and he said that God was telling him that He loved him. He was very impacted by this and I just gave him a big hug and we just sat their hugging for a couple of minutes and I told him to never forget what had happened and that the most powerful being in the universe had taken the time to tell him that He loved him and knew him.  When I am stinking it up as a parent, those are the times that I have to remember.
Another thing I wanted to mention was how even after my niece Brooklyn passed away that we are still a family.  Each night, we have a little "family hug" where all of us tell each other that we love each other. Kind of cheesy, but you can see the impact that it has, even on my two year old daughter, Audrey. She gets a huge smile on her face and is just beaming as she hears everyone else in her family express their love for her.
Anyway, my kids have wanted to include Brooklyn ever since she passed away because they want her to know that she is still part of our family and still loved. So we always tell Brooklyn that we love her each night. I am certain that she hears it more often than not. Audrey especially is insistent on making sure that we include her cousin.  It is a great reminder that the sting of death is swallowed up in Christ and that He provides that hope of eternal life and eternal families.
Trenton is also very aware of Brooklyn as well as of Layton and Shaina. We all try to remember them in our prayers, but Trenton is definitely the best at it. Last night he said the prayer and I thanked him for always remembering Layton and Shaina in his prayers. He said, "Do you know why I always remember them?" I responded, "why?"  He then explained how uncle Layton had asked him to pray for him and Shaina because they were in a lot of pain after Brooklyn died. He said that he wanted to help them and so that is why he makes sure to keep them in his prayers. It was just a testimony to me of the goodness of these kids and how sweet and pure and innocent they are.
The last thing that I wanted to say is just simply how awesome it is to be a dad. I took Corban to the store the other day after work, and I was just walking into the grocery store with him hand in hand and I just felt an overwhelming sense of peace and joy in being a father. I feel so blessed that God has seen fit to bless Amber and I with these special little ones to grace our home.  I wouldn't trade anything for the little moments like that, or when I come home from work and they run up and give me a big hug. Truly the greatest joys in life come in families. So grateful for our Heavenly Father, that He has a plan that includes families and that He has given us the gift of His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, to help us and to be there for us when we are stumbling, and ultimately to save us. God be thanked for the gift of His Son that provides all of these wonderful blessings and more!

http://www.mormon.org/christmas He is the gift!
Because of Him we have all of this! http://easter.mormon.org


Sunday, November 16, 2014

"The leaders of the Church are honest but imperfect men"

Elder Neil L. Andersen explained this in October 2012, "The leaders of the Church are honest but imperfect men. Remember the words of Moroni: 'Condemn me not because of mine imperfection, neither my father … ; but rather give thanks unto God that he hath made manifest unto you our imperfections, that ye may learn to be more wise than we have been.'"https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/10/trial-of-your-faith?lang=eng  I put this quote on Twitter the other day  with the #polygamy and got the following response, "what happened to the prophet will never lead you astray?"  Unfortunately my response to the tweeted question cannot be summed up in 160 characters or less, so I am doing the next best thing and I will tweet the link to this blog post.

I will regularly hear or see detractors of the LDS church posting or tweeting random snippets from early church leaders and talking about how the LDS church is changing their doctrine or how weird (or evil) we are because of our beliefs.  I think that it's important for everyone to understand what a prophet is, what a prophet does, and what actually constitutes doctrine in the LDS church.

What is a prophet?  A prophet is a spokesman for God.  When God tells Moses to go get the Israelites out of bondage, Moses questions a little bit.  After Moses sees some manifestations of God's power, he then questions his ability to speak, because, he says, "I am slow of speech, and of a slow tongue."  The Lord responds by saying, "Who hath made man’s mouth? or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? have not I the Lord?  Now therefore go, and I will be with thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say."  God calls Aaron to be the spokesman for Moses and teaches him the following, "he shall be, even he shall be to thee instead of a mouth, and thou shalt be to him instead of God."

In more modern times, the Lord has taught us the following about prophets, "What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself; and though the heavens and the earth pass away, my word shall not pass away, but shall all be fulfilled, whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same" (D&C 1:38).  He has also taught that:
“Thou shalt give heed unto all his (the prophet's) words and commandments which he shall give unto you as he receiveth them, walking in all holiness before me;



The Mormon church admits that Joseph Smith had 40 wives?

I saw the headline everywhere this week.  From the right (Fox News) and from the left (CNN), and everywhere in between.  For once all the headlines were the same.  Everyone was interested in the big "revelation."  The church has released several scholarly articles over the last year that detail polygamy in the early church, and the most recent articles discussed Joseph Smith's polygamy in detail, which is why these news outlets decided to release their articles (interestingly enough all on the same day for the most part.  It is also interesting to note that these articles came out well over 2 weeks after the church actually published the latest article).  I am sure that for many people this was a "revelation", but I hope to take a few minutes to debunk a couple of blatant lies located in the headlines and articles.  I will address the following two points:

This was NOT a new revelation or an "admission", we have known about this for over 150 years.

Referring to all of the women as "wives" does not mean what most people seem to think it means.

Please recognize that this is NOT an official church publication, and is nowhere near a comprehensive explanation on the subject.

Number one:  This was NOT a new revelation.  This was not an "admission" from the church about Joseph Smith's polygamy.  At worst, this was a clarification of issues that may have been muddy in people's minds in the past.  At best, it is a place for all people (church members and non-members alike) to come and find a well-documented essay with linked in sources that will allow people to do an intelligent study on the issues surrounding polygamy.  The church issued an official response detailing the reasons for their essays here:  http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/church-provides-context-gospel-topics-pages

I hate to break it to all of the people who saw this as an "admission" of some sort of "guilt" of the prophet Joseph Smith, but we have known that Joseph Smith was a polygamist since the revelation on plural marriage was released publicly to the church in 1843.  The journalists who are reporting this as a new revelation, or as an admission by the church are sadly uninformed and showed an incredible lack of journalistic effort.  It doesn't take too much research to find that LDS canon has been teaching this for over 150 years.  You can find the revelation here: https://www.lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/132?lang=eng

It is apparent as you study this section that Joseph Smith didn't just receive the revelation, but was commanded to live the principle of plural marriage.  The fact that the Doctrine and Covenants was canonized in 1835 (http://history.lds.org/event/doctrine-and-covenants-canonized?lang=eng) and that this revelation was added to the canon of scripture clearly indicates that there has been no effort by the church to conceal Joseph Smith's polygamy.  The fact that church members are not only encouraged, but commanded to study these revelations in the Doctrine and Covenants is further proof of this (see DC 1:37-28 and https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1987/04/the-book-of-mormon-and-the-doctrine-and-covenants?lang=eng) If you are trying to hide something and don't want people to find out about it because it would make your prophet "guilty", I don't think that you put it in your scriptural canon and encourage members and non-members alike to make a careful study of it.

Do the new articles clarify information that many members were likely not aware of?  Absolutely!  Is there new information that was never available before?  Not really.  The essays are years of research filed down to one article.  The information isn't necessarily new, just placed in one convenient location.  This was absolutely, positively not a "new revelation" or an "admission."  It is simply clarification and convenience for church members to understand the doctrines and the history.  Calling it an "admission" infers that there was something wrong with it.  While I understand that prophets are also human and there could have been some mistakes made here and there within the practice, the doctrine of eternal marriage and plural marriage taken as a whole was not a mistake, and Joseph Smith living the doctrine was not a mistake either.

In addition, I might add that any "mistakes" made can be easily understood as you understand the process of spiritual learning.  We each learn spiritual truths step by step, and we may well understand one spiritual truth in one way at a point in our lives, and then find later on as we learn more that the way we understood that spiritual truth was not entirely accurate.  President Dieter F. Uchtdorf explained this in his last conference address:  "As an airline pilot, I flew numerous hours across continents and oceans during the darkness of night. Watching the night sky out of my cockpit window, especially the Milky Way, often made me marvel at the vastness and depth of God’s creations—what the scriptures describe as “worlds without number.”1
It was less than a century ago that most astronomers assumed that our Milky Way galaxy was the only galaxy in the universe.2 They supposed all that lay beyond our galaxy was an immense nothingness, an infinite void—empty, cold, and devoid of stars, light, and life.
As telescopes became more sophisticated—including telescopes that could be launched into space—astronomers began to grasp a spectacular, almost incomprehensible truth: the universe is mind-bogglingly bigger than anyone had previously believed, and the heavens are filled with numberless galaxies, unimaginably far away from us, each containing hundreds of billions of stars.3
In a very short period of time, our understanding of the universe changed forever.
Today we can see some of these distant galaxies.4
We know that they are there.
They have been there for a very long time.
But before mankind had instruments powerful enough to gather celestial light and bring these galaxies into visibility, we did not believe such a thing was possible.
The immensity of the universe didn’t suddenly change, but our ability to see and understand this truth changed dramatically. And with that greater light, mankind was introduced to glorious vistas we had never before imagined." https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/10/receiving-a-testimony-of-light-and-truth?lang=eng

I hope that you will see as you continue to read, that many of the complicated issues surrounding Joseph Smith's polygamy came because a spiritual truth was revealed, perhaps not understood in its entirety, but acted on with the best available current knowledge.  This issue will have much to do with our understanding of what these "wives" really were (I might also add here that 40 is definitely the most generous estimate on the number of "wives" Joseph had).

Joseph Smith had received a revelation regarding the sealing of husbands and wives and the sealing of families.  In essence, the sealing simply means that husbands and wives (and their families) are bound together in the eternities.  This is one of the most appealing doctrines to most church members and many who investigate the church.  Further explanation of our current understanding of sealings is located here: http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/sealing

Because this was a new concept to early church members who primarily came from traditional Christian backgrounds, their ideas of what sealings were intended to do were based on their cultural context.  As a result, many people were being "sealed" to Joseph Smith because of how they thought sealings worked.  This is one of the possible reasons why Joseph Smith was sealed to so many "wives."  One of the important things to understand is that there were many of these "wives" that there was never even a sexual relationship with, which is important to understand because of how many detractors of the church accuse Joseph Smith of being a sexual predator.  The church's essay is extremely well written when it comes to this particular point, I will offer an excerpt here to explain in detail sealings and why Joseph was sealed to so many women:
"During the era in which plural marriage was practiced, Latter-day Saints distinguished between sealings for time and eternity and sealings for eternity only. Sealings for time and eternity included commitments and relationships during this life, generally including the possibility of sexual relations. Eternity-only sealings indicated relationships in the next life alone.
Evidence indicates that Joseph Smith participated in both types of sealings. The exact number of women to whom he was sealed in his lifetime is unknown because the evidence is fragmentary.24 Some of the women who were sealed to Joseph Smith later testified that their marriages were for time and eternity, while others indicated that their relationships were for eternity alone.25
Most of those sealed to Joseph Smith were between 20 and 40 years of age at the time of their sealing to him. The oldest, Fanny Young, was 56 years old. The youngest was Helen Mar Kimball, daughter of Joseph’s close friends Heber C. and Vilate Murray Kimball, who was sealed to Joseph several months before her 15th birthday. Marriage at such an age, inappropriate by today’s standards, was legal in that era, and some women married in their mid-teens.26 Helen Mar Kimball spoke of her sealing to Joseph as being “for eternity alone,” suggesting that the relationship did not involve sexual relations.27 After Joseph’s death, Helen remarried and became an articulate defender of him and of plural marriage.28
Following his marriage to Louisa Beaman and before he married other single women, Joseph Smith was sealed to a number of women who were already married.29 Neither these women nor Joseph explained much about these sealings, though several women said they were for eternity alone.30 Other women left no records, making it unknown whether their sealings were for time and eternity or were for eternity alone.
There are several possible explanations for this practice. These sealings may have provided a way to create an eternal bond or link between Joseph’s family and other families within the Church.31 These ties extended both vertically, from parent to child, and horizontally, from one family to another. Today such eternal bonds are achieved through the temple marriages of individuals who are also sealed to their own birth families, in this way linking families together. Joseph Smith’s sealings to women already married may have been an early version of linking one family to another. In Nauvoo, most if not all of the first husbands seem to have continued living in the same household with their wives during Joseph’s lifetime, and complaints about these sealings with Joseph Smith are virtually absent from the documentary record.32
These sealings may also be explained by Joseph’s reluctance to enter plural marriage because of the sorrow it would bring to his wife Emma. He may have believed that sealings to married women would comply with the Lord’s command without requiring him to have normal marriage relationships.33 This could explain why, according to Lorenzo Snow, the angel reprimanded Joseph for having “demurred” on plural marriage even after he had entered into the practice.34 After this rebuke, according to this interpretation, Joseph returned primarily to sealings with single women.
Another possibility is that, in an era when life spans were shorter than they are today, faithful women felt an urgency to be sealed by priesthood authority. Several of these women were married either to non-Mormons or former Mormons, and more than one of the women later expressed unhappiness in their present marriages. Living in a time when divorce was difficult to obtain, these women may have believed a sealing to Joseph Smith would give them blessings they might not otherwise receive in the next life.35
The women who united with Joseph Smith in plural marriage risked reputation and self-respect in being associated with a principle so foreign to their culture and so easily misunderstood by others. “I made a greater sacrifice than to give my life,” said Zina Huntington Jacobs, “for I never anticipated again to be looked upon as an honorable woman.” Nevertheless, she wrote, “I searched the scripture & by humble prayer to my Heavenly Father I obtained a testimony for myself.”36 After Joseph’s death, most of the women sealed to him moved to Utah with the Saints, remained faithful Church members, and defended both plural marriage and Joseph." https://www.lds.org/topics/plural-marriage-in-kirtland-and-nauvoo?lang=eng#25

Hopefully this clarifies and enlightens people on what this was really about.  I have to add my own personal thoughts on the issue.  Forgive my directness, but I think that is really the only way I know how to talk.  For those of you who may see Joseph as some sort of sick predator, I might ask you a few of the following questions to explore your line of reasoning:  Does a predator ask permission of a 14 year old girls parents?  Does a predator seal himself to other men's wives in hopes for intimate relationships while asking permission of her current husband prior to doing so?  Please think through the logic of your accusations.  The burden of historical evidence indicates that this practice was far from being a pursuit of physical gratification.  This was an effort by a man, imperfect though he was (he himself said, “I never told you I was perfect; but there is no error in the revelations.”), who was trying his best to live a principle as he currently understood it given to him by the Lord.  As Elder Neil L. Andersen testified in this last general conference, "
I give you my witness that Jesus is the Christ, our Savior and Redeemer. He chose a holy man, a righteous man, to lead the Restoration of the fulness of His gospel. He chose Joseph Smith.
I testify that Joseph Smith was an honest and virtuous man, a disciple of the Lord Jesus Christ."https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/10/joseph-smith?lang=eng

I add my witness to his.  I know that Joseph Smith was not perfect.  I never claim that, nor does any sane person.  The Lord Jesus Christ was the only perfect man to live out His mortal life on this planet.  However, Joseph Smith was indeed a righteous and virtuous man who was called by God to do His work in these days.  He is absolutely a man of God.  He is a prophet just as much as Moses, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob (who were also documented polygamists I might add).  I encourage people to make a careful study of the teachings that were restored through Joseph Smith, rather than searching through sketchy third-party historical records which might have SOME truths in them at best, and might be filled with outright lies at worst.  Jesus taught that "if any man will do His will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself." (see John 7:17).

If you will make a careful study of LDS doctrine, you will find teachings that guide your life to become the kind of person that God wishes you to be.  You will find that the teachings are centered on Jesus Christ and His infinite sacrifice.  That through Him we can find forgiveness of sin and eternal life.   You will find Jesus' grace, that enabling power that helps us to become more than we could ever be on our own.  You will find the doctrine of eternal families, and how your family can find joy and peace in this life and the life to come.  You will find Christ.  I have found it and have found peace that has helped me through many trials and struggles, including depression, the loss of loved ones, feeling like I am not enough, etc.  "Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free." (see John 8:32)

For more detailed information on polygamy and related issues, please visit the church's official site and official essay:  https://www.lds.org/topics/plural-marriage-in-the-church-of-jesus-christ-of-latter-day-saints?lang=eng&query=polygamy